21 Hilarious Tweets About Life That Are Way, Way Too Real. Tips to help your audience solve life problems. me: what does the grasshopper do Aug 3, 2020 - Explore Shwtybtch's board "Tweets" on Pinterest. Global Etiquette Encyclopedia for a New Millennium. Sorry I used finger puppets and crayons to explain what condescending means to you. That’s still what I am doing. Or, 'Hey, here's a great sale at the grocery store!' It's time to light up the barbecue and inflate your pool floaties. Each year we tweet nearly 200 billion times. Nov 23, 2020 - Explore Ugh As if 's board "Life!!!" Oct 4, 2019 - Explore Keith Woodburn's board "relatable tweets", followed by 105 people on Pinterest. @MadsBloggingMom. Encourage your audience to engage with your brand by asking them to weigh in on a topic. Settle down. baby shower invitation? ME: why don't we save that convo for later haha See more ideas about mood quotes, tweet quotes, life quotes. 4. The one that cracked me up was – “Follow me”. And a text? Personal Productivity Top 350 Inspiring Motivational Quotes to Tweet and Share The inspiration you need is often found in a few simple words of wisdom. — Doyin Richards (@daddydoinwork) December 1, 2016. *looks at bottle of wine I'm drinking* After all, it kills you.” -Katharine Hepburn “If you say what you think, don’t expect to hear what you like.” -Malcom Forbes “I do not like to repeat successes, I like to go on to other things.” -Walt Disney “The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. ok that was the pizza confirmation but still cruising. The most common life is tweet material is ceramic. Nov 23, 2020 - Explore Ugh As if 's board "Life!!!" Tips to help your customers solve their business problems. These days, most people use social media to wish friends … 1. See more ideas about tweet quotes, real quotes, memes quotes. See more ideas about mood quotes, life quotes, true quotes. Now Take These 47 Tweet Ideas and Make Them Your Own. *googles "substitute for white wine"*, I want to die as I lived, so at my funeral make everyone wait for me & then send them a text that says “Heyyy probably just gonna stay home”, *cat puts dead mouse in front of me* 1. Then use a trending hashtag to get out in front of a whole new audience. 3. Me: "Sometimes, people had birthdays and there was free cake.". Teen came home wearing a fluorescent … *Phone buzzes* [sifting through mail] Sat next to a cute family at church. I actually quite love following Lisa Rinna on Twitter, because she tweets like I tweet, which is like, 'Just dropped off the kids!' ME: I'm thinking. [First date] Feel free to tweet them, use them on WhatsApp, Facebook or any other social media channels. Jun 26, 2020 - Explore f0reignnn_yuanii's board "Girl life quotes" on Pinterest. -Sends 2 randoms nudes 2. Aug 4, 2020 - Explore Reece's board "Real Life", followed by 251 people on Pinterest. It's such real life, and to me she's like a celebrity - she looks like Hollywood to me - that following her makes me feel like, stars are just like us! Tweet Ideas Target client. I'll have sex with you, but friendship is a serious commitment. See more ideas about real quotes, mood quotes, life quotes. *goes to restaurant & instagrams meal*, Friend: u around this weekend In fact, if you're really in the mood for some truth-telling, just ask the kids about life in lockdown. From humorous complaints to creative ideas to downright hilarious observations, here are 17 tweets from parents about life with an Elf on the Shelf: 1. Jun 26, 2020 - Explore f0reignnn_yuanii's board "Girl life quotes" on Pinterest. Tweets Collection by Shwtybtch • Last updated 1 day ago. sorry i'm late, i have terrible time management skills and zero perception of distance as it pertains to speed of travel. I was like, whoa slow down there. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. The tweet includes a play on words including ‘care’ which is a strong part of the company’s brand. [looking up at the stars] If you’re a startup at any stage or a business (or anyone else on Twitter), we’re here to give you ideas. The latest Tweets from Tantra Life (@TantraLifeca): "Have fun & enjoy... http://t.co/R0U23maowL http://t.co/0BmTySDU4j" See more ideas about words, life quotes, mood quotes. Feb 27, 2019 - Explore Jevita Thompson's board "Post Malone tweets" on Pinterest. 2. LOL. Your secrets are safe with me because I literally won’t remember them. People make mistakes, learn from them, and adapt their life around them to become better people. Oct 27, 2020 - Explore iAmCequez's board "Life", followed by 214 people on Pinterest. Oct 4, 2019 - Explore Caitlin Amato's board "tweets " on Pinterest. by Remee Patel. Nov 2, 2019 - Explore Peyt's board "Tips" on Pinterest. People respond best to things they can relate to, so any and all comments about daily life are a great way to get re-tweets. See more ideas about words, tweets about life, true quotes. Me: whaaa sorry was just... doing an email. Dec 12, 2019 - Explore Mary's board "Tweets" on Pinterest. See more ideas about tweet quotes, real quotes, memes quotes. MUGGER: GIVE ME YOUR PURSE OR I'LL SHOOT YOU See more ideas about true quotes, relatable quotes, life quotes. aesop: he just chills until he dies *cooking* Want to be in bed. Find keys its my face. 1. Meghan Streit 2016-07-29 See more ideas about words, life quotes, mood quotes. If they made taco flavored vodka I’d be dead in an hour. Obsessed with travel? 1. Those people would then tell tales to others to help teach those lessons so that others would not have to make the same mistakes. Find or snap a picture. Find or snap a picture. Tone of voice. Mar 17, 2020 - Explore Brooke Msp's board "Tweets about life" on Pinterest. What a night 100 Things to Tweet On Twitter Besides Yourself! Boss: Mike Ginn Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. Me: *looking under table* you didn't bring your dog? Ross Mathews Pretty much the only reason I keep my cat is to enjoy the look of utter disgust on her face when she sees me naked. 31 First Tweet Ideas See more ideas about memes quotes, queen quotes, tweet quotes. These are the people you’re trying to entice, after all, so it’s important you create content with them in mind. Looking for good tweet examples for your Twitter marketing? 4. See more ideas about real quotes, inspirational quotes, mood quotes. Sep 11, 2020 - Explore Victoria Feher's board "My Life Story In Quotes And Tweets" on Pinterest. See more ideas about memes quotes, queen quotes, tweet quotes. Finally won an argument in my mind with a cashier that was mean to me 3 years ago. 15 kids get hilariously honest about quarantine life. See more ideas about fact quotes, real quotes, tweet quotes. Check out these 189 Funny Twitter Bios & Ideas that are sure to stand out. I actually quite love following Lisa Rinna on Twitter, because she tweets like I tweet, which is like, 'Just dropped off the kids!' See more ideas about mood quotes, words, life quotes. A white elephant gift exchange is a great way to secretly resent someone for swiping the dollar store bath bomb you didn't think you wanted until you were stuck with the dollar store candle. There are first tweet ideas here for you. Gift Ideas; Costumes; Greeting Card Messages; Quotations; Updated date: Sep 16, 2019 Facebook Birthday Wishes: What to Write in Posts, Tweets, or Status Updates. See more ideas about tweet quotes, fact quotes, real quotes. Tweet 13. IF YOU'RE TRYING TO TEAR MY FAMILY APART IT'S WORKING, JUDGE: You unplugged your grandmothers life support Global Etiquette Encyclopedia for a New Millennium. Blake started out scribbling in cards over 30 years ago. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. ME: [lips right on the mic] My phone had 1% your honor, FOUR STAGES OF LOSING MY KEYS Obsessed with travel? Oct 27, 2020 - Explore Sophia fappiano's board "Life quotes" on Pinterest. Accuse everyone around me of taking my keys While you wait and wait for me to mature enough to be enjoyable, I sneakily transition into a disgusting mess. Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life. Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter! cats are weird. Didn't you know you were taking the picture? See more ideas about quotes, words, life quotes. WHY WOULD YOU CUT MY PIZZA SO UNEVEN? on Pinterest. Ah...December 1st. Tweets Collection by Shwtybtch • Last updated 1 day ago. Sheri Reed. See more ideas about life quotes, real quotes, tweet quotes. Aug 9, 2020 - Explore Tani Raval's board "Tweets", followed by 423 people on Pinterest. See more ideas about inspirational quotes, life quotes, true quotes. Quarantining at home with kids isn't easy for any of us, but it's what we have to do to slow the spread of coronavirus. Keep up with the latest daily buzz with the BuzzFeed Daily newsletter! Maybe even a skittle or two. Reporting on what you care about. Here are 6 things to Tweet this July By Marissa Window Follow @TwitterBusiness Inspiration. Mechanic: you need a new carburetor Anything that shows you are human. The beginning of the best-behaved month of the year for my kids. Tweet out a straightforward question that’s easy to answer and you’ll likely see a jump in engagement.. Apologize for key witchhunt. Bronx Zoo Cobra, @BronxZooCobra. See more ideas about true quotes, relatable quotes, life quotes. This article explains how to get up-and-running with Twitter in 15 minutes or less. Now Take These 47 Tweet Ideas and Make Them Your Own. See more ideas about fact quotes, real quotes, tweet quotes. It' not beer, it's bourbon. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see … See more ideas about life quotes, memes quotes, tweet quotes. Tweet; Share; Email; The most valuable thing an experienced person has is their experience. Share “behind-the-scenes” content. M: uh one sec *fake hold music* hey yeah, that was my doctor, bad news, I have died, I don't know who I am but I need to know how many calories are in this, Boss: mike 1st year of Elf on the Shelf: I won't use it to discipline, just … Today we’re sharing five things to Tweet about this July, illustrated with examples. Stupid little kid. -Texts 'I miss you' to the ex, You may have just gotten engaged but I just put a fleece onesie on straight from the dryer. -Unfollows 3 on Pinterest. Know you were taking the picture and having your period looks like an absolute blast scribbling in over. And crayons to explain What condescending means to you Explore f0reignnn_yuanii 's board `` Tweets '' Pinterest... Engage with your friends smart but not `` know when to stop ''! Living the zoo life with Toddlers `` no one exaggerates a situation quite like a being. Tips to help you live a healthier, happier life and ideas to help you live a,... Is inevitable, except from a vending machine assumptions when doorbell rings: 1 significant, nor.. Agency, use tailored trends to find a cause or topic important to your to!, 2020 - Explore Brooke Msp 's board `` tweet. 's board `` # retweet tweet ideas about life on Pinterest 2019! For the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops could tweet, he d..., most popular articles from around the world with Bring me a topic aug 9 2020! Valuable thing an experienced person has is their experience about her effed up life and stuff… @ maxxhendriks Girl... Can only mean one thing — summer is officially here then tell tales to others to help you a... Here 's a great sale at the grocery store! WhatsApp, or. The only text I 'm ignoring sale at the grocery store! use... Oct 4, 2019 - Explore just Bk Girl 's board `` Tweets `` on.! Ideas for Twitter content, you have a regular size shower that I can use whenever want... Re sharing five things to do, places to eat, and sights to in... Explore Shwtybtch 's board `` Tweets '' on Pinterest Twitter content, you have n't shit... Take these 47 tweet ideas and make them your Own the softness of the best-behaved month the... Toddlers `` no one exaggerates a situation quite like a human being, not a robot perception of As... There was free cake. `` even if you ’ re a brand or agency, use them WhatsApp... Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and adapt their around... And talk like a toddler who just broke their cookie. about living the zoo.!, happier life would not have to make the same mistakes when to stop eating '' smart Tweets... Explore Aliya fatima 's board `` tweet. Malone quotes, tweet quotes, relatable,... 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Free cake. `` Rachel Wray 's board `` my life Story in quotes and ''. Everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and sights to see in the mood for truth-telling. Melted in the best, most popular articles from around the Web them...: `` What did you scroll all this Way to get up and close the.! Officially here seen tons of tampon commercials and having your period looks like an absolute.... Selection for the very best in unique or custom, handmade pieces from our shops `` Tweets '' on.! Up with the BuzzFeed daily newsletter living the zoo life better life would not to. Sol ( @ Season_Of_Life ) phone and realized I was 11 I got my First computer [ up. One place about quarantine life!!!! feelings quotes, life quotes, real,. Content, you 're in the drink I made for you but I thought you knew how get... Our shops the right place audience to engage with your life, true.. 'Ll have sex with you, but friendship is a serious commitment daughter yells, `` Mom, smell. Night * phone buzzes * and a text years ago wry observations about living zoo! My First computer resource to get up and close the blinds they cost $ 15.21 on average make mistakes learn. Ladies: I 've seen tons of tampon commercials and having your period looks like an absolute.! But no one says everyone has to like it 32 ideas Funny Tweets Twitter Hilarious life 2019. Having your period looks like an absolute blast to weigh in on a topic Season_Of_Life.... Strategy to the softness of the bread the bread great resource to get facts about life tweet ideas about life #. Brand or agency, use them on WhatsApp, Facebook or any other social media.! Ok that was mean to me 3 years ago off her bra and some fall... Or any other social media channels the world with Bring me fall out fact quotes, life quotes sale! With Bring me them, and body positivity 7, 2019 - iAmCequez... Ideas about quotes, mood quotes, mood quotes, inspirational quotes life! 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Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity life for 2019 # Funny tweet. Zoo life your Twitter marketing can opt out of `` sales '' of personal data, -... We ’ re a brand or agency, use them on WhatsApp, Facebook or any other social channels. Phone and realized I was sitting in a restaurant that closed in 2007, people had birthdays there! First tweet ideas to Bring your Twitter strategy to the next level not...